Sunday 1 March 2009

Well... I'm in. It has been a profoundly moving experience.

My partner and I finally moved into our new home yesterday, after a few weeks of the house being readied for us. The moving itself was exhausting. Well - exhausting to watch; my partner and her parents did the actual work, but I made sure to snore encouragingly.

Our new home is rather cosy, though still crowded with a proliferation of cardboard boxes. I am sick of the sight of boxes - I have seen little else for the past fortnight and today, they had the audacity to block out my afternoon sunbeam. My partner is hastening to unpack and clear my resting area, but I still feel that progress is slower than I would wish.

Be not deceived, however. I am not typing this blog entry from my new abode. The computer has not yet moved across to our place and, as our washing machine is not yet installed, I have taken advantage of my partner doing a load of washing at our old house to upload my thoughts; lest the world at large should suffer from Jasper-deprivation. Oh yes.

Hopefully, my computer will be installed by the end of the week and I will then be in a position to upload some suitable pictures of my new realm.

Last night was the first time that my partner and I slept overnight in our new home. I was excessively comfortable; my partner slightly less so. We had trouble getting the heating to work. To own the truth, we had no heat at all. A friendly neighbour helped to set up the heating timer but, a couple of hours later, the house was still freezing. My partner gave up trying to get the system to work and we retired to bed.

At last, unable to sleep due to the excessive cold, my partner clambered out of bed and had another go at identifying the problem. I was delighted to see just how resourceful she proved to be at half past three in the morning. A mere fifteen minutes later, using a variety of tools including, but not limited to, a screwdriver, a bank card and some nail clippers, she had the boiler working perfectly. Problem solved? You would think so, but no.

Oh no.

For the switching on of the boiler 'tripped' the electricity switch. Procedures were repeated, as were a number of profanities. But, lo, every time the heating was switched on, off went the upstairs lights and power to the cooker and fridge-freezer. Oh, how we laughed...

Not wishing to flood out the kitchen with an unscheduled defrosting of the freezer, off went the heating and the fuse box was reset by a cold and grumbling partner. She trundled back up to bed at around 4.00am.
"Bad news about the heating, Jasper." she muttered, "You're it."

For one awful, heart-stopping moment, I thought I was about to be doused in kerosene and set aflame in order to provide my partner with a few minutes' warmth. Happily, my mind was soon set to rest. All that was required of me was to snuggle up close to her and share the warmth of my belly, and with this I happily complied. An electrical engineer will be summoned on the morrow.

Of course, a removal to my new home means I am at last separated from the wretched society of the hedgehog and the New Cat. I do not mourn their loss. Starsky and I are on slightly better terms, but I have already espied a young ginger cat in the house opposite. So ginger that he could well be the progeny of the New Cat. This would not surprise me, as he was not a discreet man. I don't think there is a hedgepig in my new estate. However, as I was just downloading my last weemail of the day before bedtime last night, I swear I saw a pair of tiny beady eyes blinking at me through the darkness from the other side of the fence (the side where the river flows). It must have been my imagination, as when I turned back to look again there was nothing there at all.

Now then. I have seen Ewan (dog) since my last blog entry and we have had words. I warned him that, if I EVER hear anything like "rivers of cheese", "bucketeers" or "cheese harvesting" again, then he is never allowed to bark on my blog again. He assures me that there is nothing like that in his latest missive. And so, with heavy heart, here he is:

Right. He is NOT getting away with this.

Good night.