Tuesday 1 April 2008

Somebody has been a very brave boy today.

While my partner's diseased ear has healed almost completely, I have gone in for a little aural torment of my own. On Saturday morning, the flap of my left ear became heated and swelled up most alarmingly. A huge pocket of fluid had formed and refused to go away. My ear looked like one of those "mermaid's purse" seaweed-thingies that you sometimes see washed up on beaches.

Mermaid's Purse/my left ear-flap. Ouch.

However, rather than being filled with underwater currency, waterproof mascara, shells and the ubiquitous Nectar Card, my little "purse" was filled with hot, bloody pus. Lovely.

My partner gave it a few days to see if the pouch would burst or recede by itself, but no such luck. This evening, after one last desperate attempt to see if I could pop it myself against the outside wall of the house (before my partner caught up with me) in the garden, I was ushered into our Little Green Corsa and ferried unceremoniously to the vets'. It was pronounced to be a haematoma; not too serious but d*mned irritating. While my partner and an assistant held me firmly in place, the vet stabbed my purse with a syringe needle and drained a significant amount of yukky goo out while I screamed like a girl. Then I had some steroids injected in to help with the healing and the pain. Despite the incredible hurt, and the slight to my dignity, I have to say that I was mightily relieved after the process. If you press the now mostly-empty sac it makes a rather comical squelching sound, so full and stretched was it formerly. The top and side of my head was covered in blood afterwards, but my partner took care to tell me how brave I was and that she was very proud of me AND the vet agreed with her, so I didn't really mind. There's a chance that the "purse" might fill up with goo again, in which case I may have to undergo a small operation but, for tonight, all is peace and relief.

The vet gave me a meaty-treat for being such a good, brave boy but I felt too humiliated to accept succour from her tainted hands. My partner was allowed to take it for later and I ate it in the car park afterwards.

I was also taken immediately for entertainment in the woods after my ordeal. Although, now that the clocks have changed and lighter evenings are upon us, this is to be part of my partner's new fitness régime. She continues to shrink in size and our walks are growing steadily longer and more rapid. Not that I am complaining. Our first evening walk was yesterday and it was an absolute delight - sunny yet cool.

One's spirits could not fail to rise with such a walk in the woods - enchanting spring birdsong, tempting aromas everywhere and a veritable horde of wily beasties laid on for me to chase. Fox, badger, squirrel, pheasant, rabbit, muntjac and fallow deer - I really am delighted with the level of choice on offer.

I have not yet returned to work with my partner - the place is still alive with the activity of builders. But, more significantly, I think that the last time I was there, I might have broken Ewan...

Good night.