In addition to my regular afternoon perambulation, I had the unexpected bonus of being escorted to the local park at a later hour than normal by Maisie, and darkness was approaching as I enjoyed my extra frolics. Towards the bottom of the lower field there are some bushes, from where my ears picked up a most unusual sound. It sounded a bit like snoring or grunting - perhaps a little pig had fallen asleep and needed liberating? Without a thought for my own safety, I went to investigate. Bizarrely, there was a young man lying on top of a young lady, their clothes in considerable disarray, and they were both puffing away as if they had been running a marathon. Whatever could this be? I had my suspicions, and could see that the young man was going about things all wrong. I decided to offer some friendly advice on his technique. He didn't seem to be aware that the best way in these matters is to approach your young lady from behind, always waiting like a gentleman until she moves her tail to one side indicating readiness and - bingo! Two minutes (at most) later you are happy and she is, all being well, with pup. A firm, vice-like grip around her ribcage is one key to success. In order to reassure the young lady, I scurried up and licked her face (with an occasional lick of the young man's face so that he wouldn't feel left out). They were giggling like fools within seconds, and I was on my way once more, happy with my day's good deed.
When I returned to Maisie's house for my post-walk biscuit, Maisie told her husband Bob of my noble ministrations. They both laughed heartily, I'm sorry to say. Bob said "Oh G-d, I bet they were on their last stroke as well." I don't understand this. No-one was stroking anyone. What does he mean? Ah well. Further love-advice can be had from me, at no extra cost, in one of my August 2006 blog entries.
Tomorrow is one of my favourite days in the calendar: Shrove Tuesday, aka Pancake Day! Yippie! I have placed my order with my partner's mother. I think this year I will take 27 pancakes filled with grilled chops and another 32 containing beef fillet within. I am trying to cut down a bit.
Filled with the joy of anticipation, I now offer to you the final entry in my travel journal - Around the World with Jasper - Part 12. I hope that you have enjoyed our transglobe voyages together.
Good night.
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